This is a courageous post, and I commend you for it. I aspire to the level of open reflection and dispassionate analysis you've displayed here.

I'm fairly new on the forum, and am trying to decide if I should go all-in on EA or remain on the outside looking in. This vignette resonated with me:

As one MP put it: “I have to show my party how this will benefit our country”.

I'm a (small-r) republican and an ardent believer in my country's social contract. I find myself agreeing with the MP--there's usually an expectation that good stewardship of taxpayer money means using it in a way that primarily benefits citizens and/or the national interest. Despite my EA interest, I'm a tad uncomfortable advocating for public funds to be diverted in a way that provides no tangible benefits to the society providing it (unless there's an explicit democratic mandate to do so).

That's why I love the idea of earn to give and other forms of private EA money, even though I'm aware that 1% of a Western country's budget earmarked for foreign aid is likely substantially more money than all but the richest donors can chip in.

I'm curious about what your next steps are, and I wish you all the best.

Hi, I'm Will from the USA. I've been working in cyber security for about 15 years, and am at the point in my career where I'm moving from middle management to more senior roles.

I've been lurking the EA forums for about a year, but held off on joining the discussion until now because I had considered myself more EA-adjacent. I'm passionate about a small number of causes in the EA portfolio (mostly related to AI and X-risk) while I'm unmoved by other areas of focus.

I'm dipping my toes in the EA water, and I hope my time here can encourage me to fully hop in the pool. As a side note, I am thrilled to be on an old-school internet forum again!